Inara Remembers
by AvaraSilvertongue
Summary: One-shot. A simple question brings back a wealth of memories. A momentary insight into Inara's mind. Set about 75 years after Miranda.


Inara listlessly turned the page of her book; her eyes only half taking in the words in front of her as she dozed in the late afternoon sun.

"_Mu qin_!" (Mother) The excited shout drawing her attention to her surroundings; and making her straighten slightly; hiding a wince as her muscles protested at the movement. She smiled fondly at the gaggle of five young trainees that approached her.

"_n__ǐ__ h__ǎ__o_" she greeted the children with a smile; holding out her soft but weathered hands to them. The girls closest taking them and allowing themselves to be drawn to sit in the spaces besides their beloved housemistress while the others arranged themselves on the grass at her feet. "How were your classes today? Did you learn a lot…clearly not too much since you all seem to sit like peasant girls" Inara rebuked sternly and a couple of the girls blushed, straightening into the acceptable sitting position for a companion. Inara nodded her approval "Companions always sit properly." She told them; as she herself had been told countless times before all those years ago when she had been in training. It seemed so long ago; she had hated the unyielding postures then; finding them annoying and uncomfortable –it had been a constant thorn in her instructors sides to get her to sit right until one day; finally losing patience with always correcting her; an instructor had taken her aside and repeatedly made Inara stand up and sit down for over five hours. By the time it was over Inara was beyond exhausted, but sitting into the position had become almost second nature. Now, she couldn't imagine sitting any other way.

"Now, tell me about you day?" she prompted in a kinder tone.

"Gadara taught us the Ariel customs for a formal dinner service." One of the girls offered brightly.

"And we're learning a new musical piece." chimed another; adding softly "Freye was cross with me though; she said I hadn't practiced my progressions enough."

"And why didn't you practice?" The youngster shrugged "Well I want you to practice extra hard for your next lesson, _Doma?_" She received a nod in reply

"What are you reading Mother?" a smiley girl with pigtails asked after a minute and Inara glanced down at her forgotten book. Picking it up, she carefully placed her bookmark and closed it.

"It's a tale from the Earth-that-was."

"Were you alive on Earth-that-was?" Inara chuckled at the question

"No, I know I'm old, but I'm not that old."

"But you were alive during unionization and most people from back then are dead now." The girl seemed to realize a second too late that she may have insulted the lady before her and cast her a apologetic look.

"It's alright." Inara chuckled, knowing the truth in their words; it had been many years since the first lines started showing on her face; she knew her age.

"When my granddaddy was alive he used to tell us how he met the love of his life during the war." The girl with pigtails contributed "Have you ever been in love?" she added to Inara. Unbidden images rose in Inara's mind; like a beast waiting to devour her whole; a beast she had kept at bay for over seventy years. Her attention was only half on the girls around her now as she remembered….

She remembered her first time on the ship; inspecting the shuttle that was to be hers as he made up some story about another family interested in renting; as though he'd ever not rent it to her.

She remembered the way he had fought for her honour in a sword fight though her had never held one before. How he tried to make people uncomfortable around her in that infuriating way of his. She remembered that look in his eye when he thought about the war; when he decided to fly to Miranda, when he didn't try to stop her from leaving. She remembered his smile, his take it or leave it attitude. She remembered the arguments. She remembered sitting on the bridge with him drinking Kayleighs home brewed wine; looking over whatever cargo they happened to have.

She remembered Kayleighs, with her bubbly personality; always genuine and sweet tempered. She and Simon had finally married; and had two fat, chubby babies to boot. Those babies were old themselves now; retired after raising families of their own. Kayleigh and Simon both having passed more than a decade before. Zoe too. Inara remembered talking once, to an old man on an outlying planet. He had told her "I am lucky, I have lived a long life; I have outlived almost everyone I have ever known and seen how their stories ended; and how new stories have begun. I have seen the verse turn whole and now I am ready to die. If you live as long as me, be grateful." Inara knew she had done the same; she had seen the verse turn whole and the cycle start anew but she still wasn't sure if grateful was the right word. To have to live while everyone around you dies; and there was one story that she would most likely never know the ending to…

The last time she had seen him had been many years before; at the wedding of their friends. He was standing there looking hansom in a suit, his wife beside him. She remembered first getting the news he was engaged; it had been the final sign that he had moved on. She knew she had no right to be hurt; it had been over four years she left, she shouldn't begrudge him his happiness. But a small part of her did.

Kayleigh had given her the occasional titbit about how he was doing, but after she and Simon moved off the ship and settled down on some outlying planet to raise their kids Inara heard no more about the firefly and her captain. The ship had probably been out of commission for years; _he _was probably dead too; like just about everyone else she knew from that time. Probably.

Those were old hurts though; all together her time on Serenity was barely a year; and what was a year in such a long life? Apparently, as the last three quarters of a century had taught her, a year could be everything.

Inara suddenly realized she had zoned out and she mentally scolded herself for such carelessness, The children around her; only just starting their own stories, were now arguing among themselves about Companions and love.

"It's not for a companion to love." The one voice rang over the rest, her voice full of the arrogance of youth and clearly parroting what she had been told by some adult she admired.

"No," Inara agreed softly; regretfully. Her voice drawing the attention of the others. "It's not."

Another Companion came out into the garden, apologising to Inara for interrupting and telling the girls that tea was about to start. The girls looked to their House mother, clearly not wanting to leave just yet. Inara shook her head, suddenly tired.

"Go have your tea." She instructed, her body protesting as she forced herself to stand without the effort showing on her face. "The sun is gone for the day anyway; and I need a rest. We can talk again tomorrow." One of the girls handed her, her walking cane and the other her book before following their friends out of the garden. The Companion who had called the girls away moved to walk beside the old woman, giving her an arm to lean on.

Inara smiled gratefully, though years of training and perseverance stopped her from putting all but the lightest weight on the other woman.

"Those girls haven't yet realize what is is to be a Companion. That it is something far beyond sex and making a client happy. True Companionship is an art; an art form that I've dedicated my entire life to." The other lady nodded. "You're going to become House Mother on Friday; then it'll be your turn to preserve what we are." Inara said, pleased by the surprised smile on the other womans face. "You didn't expect it?"

"You never said….I mean I thought…."

"I should have done it a long time ago. You practically run the house anyway."

"But I can't imagine the House without you as Mother. You've had the position since before I even came here as a maiden."

"I've had the position since before you were born." Inara corrected "But my time is over now; it has been for a while and I've been to stubborn to admit it. It's time for someone else to give it a go."

-0-0-0-0-

**Well that was my first time writing for Firefly so I'd be curious as to your thoughts. Also I'm open to requests in this verse if anyone has any :) **


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